"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Maryanne Williamson
My Lord has been gracious in reminding me and showing me light and dark places in my soul (my mind, my will & my emotions)! Last Friday morning on our trip to Weatherford to see the doctor I was really aware of the doom and gloom I was feeling in my heart! In my head I know the truth but sometimes my heart and my head do not line up! I was increasingly aware that the grey skies were having an affect on me. Lack of sunlight and lack of SON LIGHT leaves one feeling drained! About half way to Weatherford I suddenly noticed a tiny hole in the heavy dismal gray clouds! Yes a pocket of blue skies, then suddenly I could feel the warmth of the sun rays reflecting through my windshield! I could feel the Holy Spirit talking to me, encouraging me! I was excited and the thing I wanted to do was pull over and get out and bask in those cozy warm rays! As I looked on down the highway all I could see was more gloom and darkness..... I knew my daughter would be frustrated, so I did not even attempt to pull over. I did however ask her to take my phone and take a picture of the one little blue patch! She said, "you are kidding, right?!" I said, "No, I am not, just do it!" Now being raised by a mom who knows how to be spontaneous, she did it! Almost instantly as we continued down the highway and I am driving into the darkness I glance back into my rearview mirror and I see the patch of light we had just driven through and even more shadows of darkness beyond it. My first reaction was to turn around and go back! But to go backwards is not an option, we really only have today!
That very afternoon I enjoyed a rare moment in my own vehicle.....I was in the passenger seat and Leslie was driving! I think she was afraid I was going to try and play with my new phone and she volunteered to drive home so I could savor a few moments! Of course we were driving the back roads and there wasn't any WiFi or 3G, but nevertheless I was able to post a few things about light! As we were zipping down the highway in the gloom I was trying to tell myself it was all good! Suddenly just like it had happened that morning I could feel the warmth of the sun rays coming through the windshield! Wow God! You are good to your children, I get to visit this tiny spot in time again......Suddenly, I notice Leslie is braking and pulling over and I said, "What are you doing?" She wanted to take a picture of a church that we had both admired! Words escaped me for the present moment because I was like a bird out of a cage! In the literal sense, unembellished, the clouds were rolling away as we stood on the grounds where the little country rock church stood gallantly and there was not a soul stirring anywhere! The quiet, hushed air about me was engulfing! Across the street fenced in laid many markers of days gone by! The cemetary was a stark reminder to me that I have today! All I had for a camera was my cell phone so thats what I used! The tree photos were taken at the back of the church! And there I could feel the Holy Spirit chasing the yuck out of me! Today when I look at these pictures I am reminded that life just like those trees can seem so imposing, formidable, dark and so lifeless! NOT TRUE! In order to really understand the growth process we must understand winter seasons! They are imperative to the growth and flourishing of spring! This tree branch is such a picture of who who we are in Christ, if we know Him as our personal Lord and Saviour! That tree branch just chopped and laying in a burn pile would have no life! It is attached to the root source of life and the beautiful backdrop of the brilliant blue skies adds beauty to it! No matter what I am going through, no matter how endless it may seem, just like those clouds rolled back suddenly, so can our God speak to his children! And when He speaks, He speaks with such comfort and authority! Such love and such power! We would be foolish to think any less! To anyone who may read this I pray you have found a reason to be encouraged! That you will keep pushing towards that mark and be all that you have been created to be! I love life, I love my friends and my family, but most of all I cherish my God moments that only He alone can provide in order to fill the chasms in my soul! The light of Jesus really does chase away the cold darkness of the canyons of our hearts! Let your light shine before others and don't be surprised when someone ask you, "what makes you so happy?"
moments from my heart
February 8, 2010